Ciera's Adventure

I feel like doing one of those old number “bulletins” from the MySpace days. You know the ones. You assign a certain number to that person and write a special message to them. Here we go:

1. I miss you. We used to have some really good nights together, just talking all night. I think I screwed things up between us and I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you at all. I hope one day we’ll talk again, at least enough for me to get some closure. I have no idea why you left and won’t accept me again. I need to know that. I need to know if you’re upset at me. And most importantly, I need to know if I have a reason to apologize. I really hope you stop ignoring me one of these days. I don’t feel like giving up on you yet even though it’s been… a long time. I can’t think of how many years! I hope to hear from you soon, buddy. Hope things are good. Just sent you a message again. Please respond!

2. I love you. I know we’re going to be together for a very long time. Remember, I don’t believe in forever, but I do hope we last for years and years. We’ve pushed through a lot of stuff. Our relationship has grown over such a large distance. I’m excited to finally start living with you and possibly one day getting married and having children. Of course both of those are years away. Definitely not feeling ready for them today! I’m so proud of you! You’re very successful with the things you do. I love you. To infinity and beyond… but not forever! [...]

Hello blog readers! I have a lot on my mind tonight and wanted to see if writing a post would help. It’s almost impossible to find a place to start. Hmmm…

Today I spent some time with my best friend, Tanya. The last time I talked to/saw her was about 7 months ago. It was really nice to catch up with her. I love that we can lose contact for months, or years, and still be as close as we are. It just shows how strong friendships can be

I got a job at a Papa John’s that just opened here! I be deliverin’ pizzas now! xD  I’m so glad I finally have a job! It’s not what I’d like to be doing but the hours are good, tips are nice, and I love most of the people I work with I’ve met some people there that I hope I know for a long time.  It’s weird that I like almost everything about it, but I don’t necessarily enjoy working there.  [...]

Right now, I just feel tired. Mostly of family, I think. They just got home an hour ago and I spent maybe 5 minutes with them? And when I escaped I felt annoyed and stressed. I really wish I wouldn’t feel this way almost all the time. The only person I can stand in this house (still for a limited time, but longer than the rest) is my sister. Hopefully she doesn’t start annoying me as much as the others ! I don’t know what I’d do then.

Anyways, now I am listening to music and trying not to be here while still being here. I can’t wait for a new life! Really. I am soooo excited to just ‘start over’. I feel like I’m just surviving until then. Then, when I start living! Gahhh! I’m so impatient sometimes. XD

Hmm, something I’m starting to realize: Parents are right sometimes . Did you ever hear, “Your friends now may not be your friends forever, even if it feels like that now.”? Haha! My dad said that a lot but I never believed him. I thought the friendships I’ve had for 10+ years would always be, ya’ know? My views sure have changed recently. I am definitely not as close as I used to be with my two best friends I’ve had for about 12 years now. I haven’t talked to one of them for 6 months now because she hasn’t responded to any of my messages . The other friend; I think we will be friends for a long time still but I just don’t feel as close as we were in our younger years. Mmm… blah! Just, blaaaah. That’s how I feel right now. [...]