Ciera's Adventure

Moving is hard for everyone. I’m not an exception. This crazy life I started (moving between two countries) has really taken a toll on me. It’s brought on this depression that’s been lingering over me for at least a year. All this moving hasn’t allowed me to find jobs so I’ve picked up this unwanted slacker lifestyle. Most of my days are on the computer applying for jobs or being extremely lazy and just browsing a few sites all day. Not to mention the way moving affects relationships. It’s so hard for someone like me to make friends, and also to go without them. I don’t know what it is but after awhile of being alone, (and who knows why I’m alone because I hate it most of the time) I end up begging for attention. Today happens to be one of those days and the reason why I feel like writing this post.

I need friends. I need a job. I need a life.

Hey people! So I wanted to write a little update about where I’m at in my life. As you can see in the picture to the left, my hair is a little darker and a lot shorter! I recently moved to Melbourne, Australia (for good, as far as I know), and it’s summer here so I decided to get a new hair cut. The color was just something new to try although my roots are already showing a tiny bit. I don’t like it! I guess lighter is better for me since I’m a low maintenance gal. But of course going lighter means damaging my hair more! I hate the feeling of my hair now without conditioner.

Anyways, off track. Australia has been good to me so far. A nice, “big” spider decided to welcome me just the other day. Of course I know this isn’t the largest around here but I can still see the segments of its body. IT’S TOO DAMN BIG! Not to mention it decided to scurry around a bit when I was trying to get a picture. That thing is fast! And today there happens to be a smaller one on the wall I’m facing, behind a picture frame. Ahhh, the joys. I’m just going to let it be until someone else decides to trap it or it attacks me, whichever comes first. [...]

Well it’s been over a week since Daniel went back to Australia. The time has gone by so slow and my feelings have been tossed around.

Since he left my anxiety has flared up big time. I can’t talk to the people I’m around. Big groups of friends make me uncomfortable. Yet I’m so lonely.

I’ve been trying to get a job with only one bite that I didn’t hook. I don’t know where I can go or what I can do until I get back to Australia to be with him.

I’m usually pretty good at hiding these feelings from everyone, including myself. If you see me, please reach out. I need to feel welcomed. I need to feel like I am wanted here.

I worked up the courage and cut my fringe today. The last time I ever held scissors up to my hair I was… 5, maybe… so doing it today was a huge deal. I was so afraid of screwing it up, which I did. But not enough for me to hate it. I just fixed the mistake and made my hair look good. I am so happy with the result!

Hair up, May 2011	Front on, May 2011	Side, May 2011
Side with headband, May 2011	Derp, May 2011	Smile, May 2011
Moustache, May 2011

I’m thinking I’ll dye my hair again. Maybe a purple-ish black. I’ve been doing it so much lately but I’m really enjoying the excitement of a new look. Plus I seem to be looking a lot like Daniel’s sister which hasn’t been my aim at all. She’s beautiful but I like feeling original. I don’t want her to think I’m copying her either. Because I’m not. So, ch-ch-ch-changes are up ahead!

Oh! This Saturday I’m attending Slutwalk in Melbourne. I’ll be making a crop-top from one of my Owl City shirts. I hope it looks alright. A picture will be posted when it’s done!

Until next time
-Ciera

Just recently, we had a cat join our small family of four. His name is Louie . We got him knowing we’d have to take him to get desexed and I was also thinking about declawing (keep in mind, the last time one of my cats was declawed is when I was under 10… my parents choice. I’ve never heard much of it since then). Being new cat owners, we wanted to research how to go about doing everything. I know declawing is a very controversial in America so I wanted to see what the views are here, in Australia. Turns out, it’s is illegal and viewed as inhumane! I read more into it and now understand why people see it that way. When you get a cat declawed, you’re having almost half of each toe removed. It’s unnecessary and a lot of people do it so the cat doesn’t ruin their things. Some people say it’s selfish for that reason and I can see why. You shouldn’t get a cat if you’re not prepared to have things scratched up! Saying that, I am no longer interested in cutting Louie’s, or any other animals, toes off… unless medically necessary! [...]

This week really hasn’t been that eventful. I visited Daniel during lunch early in the week and during that hour we opened my new bank account. When I was at a bus stop on my way to see him, an old Greek lady started talking to me. She was complaining about the ‘cold’ and mentioned how her “village” was always the same temperature throughout the year! I thought it was really funny because she also mentioned that she has been a citizen in AUS for 40 years! The fact that she referred to a village really made me happy. In any case, it made me even more interested in Greece. I must travel there one day. [...]

Today, Daniel and I went out to do some shopping and just spend the day together. We walked through IKEA to look at furniture. I loved doing that. It got me very excited for the possibilities the future brings. IKEA didn’t have anything we could afford, and needed, so we decided to stop by another store to look at dressers and bookshelves. We had to go via train and while waiting there, a young man gave me a compliment: [...]

That’s right! In just a few more days I will no longer be in a long distance relationship! I’m heading to Australia to be with Daniel for a year.

The nine months, that are now behind us, have been so difficult for me! Before we met, chatting was always a fun experience. After meeting and spending three months together, I started getting really frustrated and taking things he said the wrong way. I partly blame the distance. I was so unhappy that I couldn’t be there; my overall mood has changed from relaxed and happy, to stressed and discontent. I miss the way I felt before. Although, I have faith that when I’m there my mood will change drastically again.

More has gone on in life, as well. Along with the stress of the distance: I live in this disgusting house (daily stressor); my family has made me feel used, neglected, and just disrespected; and my moms ex-husband, and my brother and sisters father, had an incident that has left him with no movement on his right side and possible one blind eye. Sound like a good nine months to you?! Now, I know I could have things a lot worse… it just feels like bad things have been happening one things after another, after another, for the past three years. [...]

You know when you’re reading something you totally agree with and you get this uplifting feeling? That happened to me when I read the above proverb! The way I interpret it may be different from others but I think it means: “No distance is too far if you’re in love.”

About a month ago I arrived home from a three month trip to Australia. I had traveled over there to meet Daniel, my one and only (as mentioned in my last blog post). We had met online nine months prior when he sent me a friend request on Myspace. We started talking through comments and, just a few days later, we were chatting hours upon hours on Windows Live Messenger! It was, and still is, amazing that I could talk to him the whole day without getting bored or having an awkward pause in the conversation. I have never been able to do that with anyone else!

When we first started talking, Neither of us were expecting more than just a friendship. He was looking for a girlfriend, but trying to find someone in his area. Oh, and I must add this!!, he started looking right after his ex broke up with him… REBOUND! xD LOL! I was concerned and told him he didn’t “need” another girlfriend, he just wanted one. As for me, I had been “involved”, emotionally at least, with a friend and was still trying to figure myself out. I just wasn’t looking for anyone… I didn’t have the feeling that I needed to be with someone. But of course, as the days went by, and we started learning more about each other, we started getting closer and closer! I think it took me a little over a month to realize how I felt about him! <3 I knew by then I would love to meet him one day and I told him so . I had no idea I would be on an airplane flying across the world 8 months after that, though [...]