Just so you know, I’m happy.
Just so you know, I’m not struggling but I’m not achieving anything.
Just so you know, I’m overeating at one meal each day. WTF!
Just so you know, I’m fat and A-OK with it.
Just so you know, I’m beautiful. I’m a great person.

Just so you know…

Since he left my anxiety has flared up big time. I can’t talk to the people I’m around. Big groups of friends make me uncomfortable. Yet I’m so lonely.

I’ve been trying to get a job with only one bite that I didn’t hook. I don’t know where I can go or what I can do until I get back to Australia to be with him.

I’m usually pretty good at hiding these feelings from everyone, including myself. If you see me, please reach out. I need to feel welcomed. I need to feel like I am wanted here.

Desexing is a standard in Australia for pets. Whenever you get an animal, it will most likely be desexed. It’s done to keep your animal healthier, decrease overpopulation, and other reasons that convenience the owners. Wait! Did I say that right?! Desexing conveniences owners? Ahh, yes! As this post says, desexing male animals:

Usually stops tomcats from “spraying” foul-smelling urine in the house.

Reduces the annoying and embarrassing urge of male dogs to “mount” children and adults’ legs.

Reduced dog registration fees each year will quickly cover the cost of the operation

Reduces aggression against other animals. It decreases fights, thus saving you expensive veterinary bills and aggravation.

and desexing female animals:

Eliminates oestrus or “heat” periods; no bloody discharges.

Eliminates the scent that attracts annoying males. No need to confine your female while in heat.

Eliminates the frantic pacing and crying by the female while in heat (cats are especially vocal at this time). Reduced dog registration fees each year will quickly cover the cost of the operation.

Don’t those reasons sound selfish to you? To me, they seem as selfish as the reasons for declawing. So why aren’t both procedures inhumane?

And why is it alright to castrate animals but not humans? One of my friends said, “that’s b/c a human would have to do it.” but I don’t understand that reasoning. We’re all inhabitants of this planet. One of us isn’t better than the other!

Please comment telling me your opinion and possibly an answer to my questions. I’d really appreciate it, thanks!

-Ciera

Well, I’ve made it a month in Australia. I knew I would considering my last visit here was 3 months long ! It’s been really great here. Of course there’s been down days but I wouldn’t change anything about it! During the weeks I’ve been doing things to keep my self busy including looking for jobs and visiting Daniel at work. At least one day during the weekend is spent as a ‘date day’. On those days we usually go out all day and enjoy our time together. I’m so thankful we have the weekends to spend so much time together!

This week I spent most of the time at home. Normally that would make me feel a bit upset but I stayed busy enough to feel like I accomplished something. I managed to finish all the friendship bracelets I was working on. I also wrote some letters and made some necklaces for my brother and sister. On Thursday, Daniel’s mum managed to talk me into going grocery shopping with her. We got ingredients for tacos! They were really good ! Daniel was on a fun go-carting trip that his office does. I wish I could have gone! On Friday, I went into the city to visit my man at work. While together, we set up his part of our joint bank account. Then we went to the post office so I could send everything I worked on. After that, we went and got lunch at KFC. So healthy, right?!

This weekend we decided to just spend one day out. Before we actually set out for our date, we got haircuts (seen above!). I was worried about how mine would turn out but I ended up loving it! I still do, of course xD! After that, we didn’t decide what we were going to do, Melbourne Zoo or Luna Park, until we got to one of the locations. Part of the uncertainty was the weather. It was raining for a little bit but we still decided to go to the zoo. I was so excited to see the baby elephant there! Her name is Mali . We found out that in just a few weeks, another elephant will be having a baby. I made sure Daniel knew we were visiting again just for that! While we were there, we also discovered that there were baby tigers! They were being so playful when we visited them. Mommy tiger was walking around roaring. Also, while visiting this time, we got to see the red panda. When we visited last year, it was hiding in a little box, eating food. This time it was up in a tree just looking down at everyone. It made me soooooo happy! Red Pandas are cute ^_^!! Will you get me one? If you’d like to see any pictures of the trip, either go to my facebook or visit my joint blog with Daniel. We just set it up tonight so there’s not much on it but we made sure we got some zoo pics up.

Anywho, that’s it for now! Wish me luck on the next week! I’m hoping for an interview soon, from anywhere! Byebye!

-Ciera

This week really hasn’t been that eventful. I visited Daniel during lunch early in the week and during that hour we opened my new bank account. When I was at a bus stop on my way to see him, an old Greek lady started talking to me. She was complaining about the ‘cold’ and mentioned how her “village” was always the same temperature throughout the year! I thought it was really funny because she also mentioned that she has been a citizen in AUS for 40 years! The fact that she referred to a village really made me happy. In any case, it made me even more interested in Greece. I must travel there one day.

The rest of the week I had this yearning to go out but my anxiety ended up getting the best of me… ! While out I was going to post some finished bracelets and letters to a couple of friends, hand in some resumes, and possible have some delicious Lord of the Fries or sushi. I hate that I didn’t get that done during the week but anxiety attacks are no fun at all. Oh well! While I stayed inside, I got more crafts done. I also finished the book I’ve been reading, Paper Towns by John Green. It’s a really great book! I didn’t expect it to end the way it did but I wasn’t disappointed either. I made a new friend as well! Well, I consider her a friend. It’s funny how we’ve met through the… years? She’s one of my friend’s girlfriend now and they seem really good together. I hope they can work through any obstacles in their relationship. During the week we get to talk about things while we wait for our boyfriends to get back from work! It’s AWESOME SAUCE, I tell you!!

Daniel and I had a date day on Saturday. The adventure started fine until we got to Parliament Train Station. That’s when the public transport system started to hate us. The line we needed to go on wasn’t running so we had to run to another platform to get on the line we needed. We got to the next station, got on the train, and headed the way we needed to go. Things were looking up until we got to Footscray(zy). There was a disruption somewhere along the train tracks so everyone had to get off and catch replacement buses to where they needed to go. Needless to say, the buses ended up being extra crowded for most of the trip. Luckily, it didn’t take to long to get to our stop. We started walking to ScienceWorks and there were these awesome poles along the way. There were four altogether: gears, planets, robot, and chromosome. They made the short walk there extra exciting.

Once we got to the actual museum, we headed straight for the toy area. Daniel was just like a kid again! It was so cute !! I think my favorite part of the museum was the house area. It had an upside down room, spinning pictures, and a kitchen where there was an awesome fire show!! A guy practically made a flame thrower with a funnel, tubing and corn flour. We made a stop at the gift shop as well. There we found a pack of 50 glow in the dark stars!

We headed home after 2 hours playing in the museum. We still had to catch a replacement bus to Footscray(zy) but it wasn’t nearly as frustrating or crowded. When we arrived, dinner was ready! YAYFOOD! (I’m hungry right now! must find fooooooood)

I’d really like to add more to this post but I’m hitting my writers block. I guess I’ll say those things in another post. Also, I hate how I say ‘but’ and ‘and’ a lot. And I almost always start each sentence with the same word or letter! D:<

Tootaloo for now!

-Ciera

P.S. If you’d like to see more pictures from the ScienceWorks adventure or anything else, just go ahead and check my facebook! Don’t worry, I won’t bite.

Today I spent a wonderful day with Daniel, his sister, and his mom. We had lunch at a nice buffet and then got some shopping in. We had to get some ingredients for delicious cookies that we made later in the day. Mmmmm, cookies! They turned out soo well! They were meant to be plain lemon cookies, with icing but we decided to make them more exciting with RAINBOW (++death) colors! Not only do they look good but they taste delicious as well!

After two weeks of waiting, I finally got my tax file number (TFN). A TFN is similar to a social security number (SSN) in America, for those who didn’t know. I feel better about applying for jobs now. I also got a packet for the bank account I opened. My TFN is useful for that as well. Not nearly as much as it is for jobs, though.

I’ve finished a few things for friends, just need to post them now! I’ll have to do that this week. I should also apply for some more jobs and visit Daniel more.

Keep a smile on your face!

-Ciera

Anyways, now I am listening to music and trying not to be here while still being here. I can’t wait for a new life! Really. I am soooo excited to just ‘start over’. I feel like I’m just surviving until then. Then, when I start living! Gahhh! I’m so impatient sometimes. XD

Hmm, something I’m starting to realize: Parents are right sometimes . Did you ever hear, “Your friends now may not be your friends forever, even if it feels like that now.”? Haha! My dad said that a lot but I never believed him. I thought the friendships I’ve had for 10+ years would always be, ya’ know? My views sure have changed recently. I am definitely not as close as I used to be with my two best friends I’ve had for about 12 years now. I haven’t talked to one of them for 6 months now because she hasn’t responded to any of my messages . The other friend; I think we will be friends for a long time still but I just don’t feel as close as we were in our younger years. Mmm… blah! Just, blaaaah. That’s how I feel right now.

And also! While I’m on the friends topic, and before I chicken out again ^_^, I feel I should give my feelings about “being left out.” Heh! I really hate when my friends complain about that. I really don’t want to point certain people out but just know it bugs me. I try not to show I’m upset when you talk about things you’ve done together. It really does happen to me a lot. I’ve actually learned to accept it and deal with being alone at home. And dealing with being a second/third/fourth/100th thought. -__- ANYWAYS! moving on…

There is one person I know will always want to be around me. Ha! Might be easy to guess who it is . It’s not fun having that person on a different continent Miles and miles away! It’s something I have to deal with, though. I think I’m really doing a good job. And I’m happy. You may hear me complain but… I am very happy that I’m in this relationship. I don’t dread the distance either. I just wish it wasn’t there .

He really is the most amazing person ! The only person who has actually made me so happy that I cried <3 Heh!

Anyways, I can’t really think anymore. I just really needed to get lost. This definitely helped a bit. Mmm, and this post seems less formal than I’d like it to be :S! I guess it’s okay. This IS a blog! Ha… I need to relax. Okay, I’m done.

P.S. I’m really done this time Thanks for reading!

About a month ago I arrived home from a three month trip to Australia. I had traveled over there to meet Daniel, my one and only (as mentioned in my last blog post). We had met online nine months prior when he sent me a friend request on Myspace. We started talking through comments and, just a few days later, we were chatting hours upon hours on Windows Live Messenger! It was, and still is, amazing that I could talk to him the whole day without getting bored or having an awkward pause in the conversation. I have never been able to do that with anyone else!

When we first started talking, Neither of us were expecting more than just a friendship. He was looking for a girlfriend, but trying to find someone in his area. Oh, and I must add this!!, he started looking right after his ex broke up with him… REBOUND! xD LOL! I was concerned and told him he didn’t “need” another girlfriend, he just wanted one. As for me, I had been “involved”, emotionally at least, with a friend and was still trying to figure myself out. I just wasn’t looking for anyone… I didn’t have the feeling that I needed to be with someone. But of course, as the days went by, and we started learning more about each other, we started getting closer and closer! I think it took me a little over a month to realize how I felt about him! <3 I knew by then I would love to meet him one day and I told him so . I had no idea I would be on an airplane flying across the world 8 months after that, though

Flying to Australia to meet the guy I am in love with was an awesome experience! I will admit, I was very nervous about the whole thing. After hearing stories about the young women who are found dead after such a trip, it would make sense, right? But it all ended very well! The time we spent together was magical!! After spending time with him I knew that if everything works out in life, I could end up spending the rest of it with him ! It’s a wonderful feeling to have!  I love him with every part of me. It’s so hard to express how much he means to me but I know, since we practically share a brain xD, that he feels the exact same way!

Being in a long distance relationship isn’t easy. I miss him everyday. I miss his kisses. I miss being next to him. I miss seeing his smile, hearing his giggle, everything. I believe we can get through this, though. Being able to talk to him everyday helps a lot. Knowing that we’re both working towards the same thing really helps too . Daniel and I are very lucky people! We have met our soul mates Our other half <3 I love you Daniel!