It’s time to fade away into the world of music ♪♫
2 Dec
Right now, I just feel tired. Mostly of family, I think. They just got home an hour ago and I spent maybe 5 minutes with them? And when I escaped I felt annoyed and stressed. I really wish I wouldn’t feel this way almost all the time. The only person I can stand in this house (still for a limited time, but longer than the rest) is my sister. Hopefully she doesn’t start annoying me as much as the others 
! I don’t know what I’d do then.
Anyways, now I am listening to music and trying not to be here while still being here. 
I can’t wait for a new life! Really. I am soooo excited to just ‘start over’. I feel like I’m just surviving until then. Then, when I start living! Gahhh! I’m so impatient sometimes. XD
Hmm, something I’m starting to realize: Parents are right sometimes . Did you ever hear, “Your friends now may not be your friends forever, even if it feels like that now.”? Haha! My dad said that a lot but I never believed him. I thought the friendships I’ve had for 10+ years would always be, ya’ know? My views sure have changed recently. I am definitely not as close as I used to be with my two best friends I’ve had for about 12 years now. I haven’t talked to one of them for 6 months now because she hasn’t responded to any of my messages 
. The other friend; I think we will be friends for a long time still but I just don’t feel as close as we were in our younger years. Mmm… blah! Just, blaaaah. That’s how I feel right now.
And also! While I’m on the friends topic, and before I chicken out again ^_^, I feel I should give my feelings about “being left out.” Heh! I really hate when my friends complain about that. I really don’t want to point certain people out but just know it bugs me. I try not to show I’m upset when you talk about things you’ve done together. It really does happen to me a lot. I’ve actually learned to accept it and deal with being alone at home. And dealing with being a second/third/fourth/100th thought. -__- ANYWAYS! moving on…
There is one person I know will always want to be around me. Ha! Might be easy to guess who it is 
. It’s not fun having that person on a different continent Miles and miles away! It’s something I have to deal with, though. I think I’m really doing a good job. And I’m happy. You may hear me complain but… I am very happy that I’m in this relationship. I don’t dread the distance either. I just wish it wasn’t there .
He really is the most amazing person ! The only person who has actually made me so happy that I cried <3 Heh!
Anyways, I can’t really think anymore. I just really needed to get lost. This definitely helped a bit. Mmm, and this post seems less formal than I’d like it to be :S! I guess it’s okay. This IS a blog! Ha… I need to relax. Okay, I’m done.
P.S. I’m really done this time 
Thanks for reading!
Don’t fade away! I need you here! Come here instead ;D
“There” is where I’ll be living instead of just surviving. I really can’t wait to be there <3
I can’t wait either. Also I know how you feel with friends and feeling left out. It’s not good
hehe
When we’re together, I’ll never ever leave you out
Ciera, your growth since high school has been a wonder to watch. Imagine what you’ll be like in 5, 10, 15 years!!! I’m proud of you!
It’s crazy to think about but I’m starting to get soooo excited for the next years to come!!
i like it and i no what you mean about the whole getting left out
I think everyone knows how it is. I was just getting so tired of it when I wrote this that I had to express it somehow. I’m thinking about writing another ranting blog soon even though I’m not in the valley anymore. I just have to get some things out!