Right now, I just feel tired. Mostly of family, I think. They just got home an hour ago and I spent maybe 5 minutes with them? And when I escaped I felt annoyed and stressed. I really wish I wouldn’t feel this way almost all the time. The only person I can stand in this house (still for a limited time, but longer than the rest) is my sister. Hopefully she doesn’t start annoying me as much as the others :P ! I don’t know what I’d do then.

Anyways, now I am listening to music and trying not to be here while still being here. :D I can’t wait for a new life! Really. I am soooo excited to just ‘start over’. I feel like I’m just surviving until then. Then, when I start living! Gahhh! I’m so impatient sometimes. XD

Hmm, something I’m starting to realize: Parents are right sometimes :P . Did you ever hear, “Your friends now may not be your friends forever, even if it feels like that now.”? Haha! My dad said that a lot but I never believed him. I thought the friendships I’ve had for 10+ years would always be, ya’ know? My views sure have changed recently. I am definitely not as close as I used to be with my two best friends I’ve had for about 12 years now. I haven’t talked to one of them for 6 months now because she hasn’t responded to any of my messages :( . The other friend; I think we will be friends for a long time still but I just don’t feel as close as we were in our younger years. Mmm… blah! Just, blaaaah. That’s how I feel right now.

And also! While I’m on the friends topic, and before I chicken out again ^_^, I feel I should give my feelings about “being left out.” :D Heh! I really hate when my friends complain about that. I really don’t want to point certain people out but just know it bugs me. I try not to show I’m upset when you talk about things you’ve done together. It really does happen to me a lot. I’ve actually learned to accept it and deal with being alone at home. And dealing with being a second/third/fourth/100th thought. -__- ANYWAYS! moving on…

There is one person I know will always want to be around me. Ha! Might be easy to guess who it is :) . It’s not fun having that person on a different continent :( Miles and miles away! It’s something I have to deal with, though. I think I’m really doing a good job. And I’m happy. You may hear me complain but… I am very happy that I’m in this relationship. I don’t dread the distance either. I just wish it wasn’t there :P .

He really is the most amazing person :) ! The only person who has actually made me so happy that I cried <3 Heh!

Anyways, I can’t really think anymore. I just really needed to get lost. This definitely helped a bit. Mmm, and this post seems less formal than I’d like it to be :S! I guess it’s okay. This IS a blog! Ha… I need to relax. Okay, I’m done.

Vanilla Twilight

P.S. I’m really done this time ;) Thanks for reading!